I just put "The Bit" in her little Winnie the Pooh dress. And she did another first. While I was putting her arm into the sleeve, she moved it perfectly so that her arm slipped right in with no effort from me. It was surprising, and very adorable.
The other arm, I had to move into place like usual. I've been dressing her for almost 7 months now, and it still scares me a little. When she was newborn, it really freaked me out to try to get such gentle, tiny arms and legs into clothes. But the deal is, you have to do it. Babies need clothes, arms need to be bent, legs flexed into position.
I feel like maybe I've played it too safe in my life. And now I have to do things that terrify me sometimes. It's my daughters life if I make a mistake. And yet here I am, honestly happy about it. Even amazingly relaxed, both my wife and I according to friends. A welcome change I never saw coming.
Saturday, December 5, 2009
Monday, November 30, 2009
Don't expect a lot of positive feedback or support as a Dad.
My daughter just entered that difficult stage where she wants her mother. She's fine when it's just me, but as soon as mom is near, she cries to be picked up. It's not that big a deal, and she's already starting to lighten up about it. The only time it was tough was at a party of my wife's friends. It was the first time I could not stop "bit girl" from crying in front of other people. I felt like a real bump on a log, because I was just standing around a lot.
What makes it upsetting is that it reflects the lack of support for Fathers in our society. Clothing racks are filled with "I love Mommy" clothes, and at best 1 "I Love Daddy" item. (Most upsetting for me was the Rock 'n' Roll marathon store. They had "Mom rocks" onesies, and nothing for the baby cheering on Dad.) And I've seen event listings that often assume baby always comes with Mom.
But it's the individuals that surprise me the most. Strangers love to tell you how she loves Mom best. And I've had her cousins, who range from 3-6 years old, question why I'm the one trying to calm a crying baby. And I'm the one who was hold my daughter calmly, surrounded by a room full of women who couldn't keep her quiet when I left.
But it's OK. I have two male friends who remind me how great I am with "Daddy's Little Girl". And my wife's friend tell her good thing about me, even if they won't do it to my face. And I'm not doing this for praise. And even though "little bit" cried to be held by Mommy when my wife walked up, when my wife left "bit" giggled as I lifted her up for kisses and a triceps workout. And a happy healthy baby is what I'm here for.
What makes it upsetting is that it reflects the lack of support for Fathers in our society. Clothing racks are filled with "I love Mommy" clothes, and at best 1 "I Love Daddy" item. (Most upsetting for me was the Rock 'n' Roll marathon store. They had "Mom rocks" onesies, and nothing for the baby cheering on Dad.) And I've seen event listings that often assume baby always comes with Mom.
But it's the individuals that surprise me the most. Strangers love to tell you how she loves Mom best. And I've had her cousins, who range from 3-6 years old, question why I'm the one trying to calm a crying baby. And I'm the one who was hold my daughter calmly, surrounded by a room full of women who couldn't keep her quiet when I left.
But it's OK. I have two male friends who remind me how great I am with "Daddy's Little Girl". And my wife's friend tell her good thing about me, even if they won't do it to my face. And I'm not doing this for praise. And even though "little bit" cried to be held by Mommy when my wife walked up, when my wife left "bit" giggled as I lifted her up for kisses and a triceps workout. And a happy healthy baby is what I'm here for.
Monday, November 23, 2009
What technology does a new Dad need?
My experience is different than most because my wife and daughter were both in the hospital for almost a week, and they both needed a lot of help. So we spent a lot of time cooped up in a small space. I don't know what I would have done without my IPhone. Being able to both text and email made it possible to stay in touch with friends and family all over the country. And posting pictures to facebook was even easier, and the only way to get pictures to everyone quickly. And of course, it was entertainment for the short periods between feedings and doctors when I was too wound up to sleep.
Once I was home, I found I had blocks of time where the baby needed constant little bits of attention. Not enough to fully occupy me, but enough to keep me from doing much else. Netflix kept me sane by letting me watch blocks of TV when I was too sleep deprived to do anything else. I finally caught up on the first season of Heroes in between feedings and rocking the baby.
The high-tech running stroller means I still get out to run. Running uphill against the wind is certainly a good workout. And my daughter is so happy to be out and looking around that she's either content or asleep the whole time. Which is great when she's having a fussy day.
Once I was home, I found I had blocks of time where the baby needed constant little bits of attention. Not enough to fully occupy me, but enough to keep me from doing much else. Netflix kept me sane by letting me watch blocks of TV when I was too sleep deprived to do anything else. I finally caught up on the first season of Heroes in between feedings and rocking the baby.
The high-tech running stroller means I still get out to run. Running uphill against the wind is certainly a good workout. And my daughter is so happy to be out and looking around that she's either content or asleep the whole time. Which is great when she's having a fussy day.
Pick one thing to be yours
This is for the other new Dads. One of the best things I did early on was decide that I would be the Diaper King. Remember that part of your job now is to make new Mom feel loved and supported by you. If you just help with a little of everything, it gets lost in the craziness. But if Mom knows that she can always get a moment when you do one thing, it really stands out.
I'm definitely thinking diaper changes is a good thing for Dads to do. Probably the biggest reason is that a 2 month old baby does not do much. I found the main time I interacted with her was during diaper changes. She will wiggle in response to all the fastening and wiping. While I'm OK at cooing at a baby, I much prefer some kind of back and forth. Just remember when she blocks the diaper with her legs, it's the first of many Daddy-Daughter games.
I'd heard that baby poop does not smell for the first few months. But no one told me it even smells good sometimes. I can remember diapers that smell like fresh baked bread.
It's not all fun and games, I know. There was one diaper change in the morning where I thought I could get up, change her, and go back to bed without my glasses. Suddenly, I jumped from something warm hitting my chest. She projectile pooped at me! Mom stopped laughing long enough to help me clean up.
I know soon the diapers will start to smell. That's the other good thing about getting a reputation. I figure the good feelings will last for a few months while I back off on changing diapers. Of course, then I'll have to figure out something else to be my specialty.
I'm definitely thinking diaper changes is a good thing for Dads to do. Probably the biggest reason is that a 2 month old baby does not do much. I found the main time I interacted with her was during diaper changes. She will wiggle in response to all the fastening and wiping. While I'm OK at cooing at a baby, I much prefer some kind of back and forth. Just remember when she blocks the diaper with her legs, it's the first of many Daddy-Daughter games.
I'd heard that baby poop does not smell for the first few months. But no one told me it even smells good sometimes. I can remember diapers that smell like fresh baked bread.
It's not all fun and games, I know. There was one diaper change in the morning where I thought I could get up, change her, and go back to bed without my glasses. Suddenly, I jumped from something warm hitting my chest. She projectile pooped at me! Mom stopped laughing long enough to help me clean up.
I know soon the diapers will start to smell. That's the other good thing about getting a reputation. I figure the good feelings will last for a few months while I back off on changing diapers. Of course, then I'll have to figure out something else to be my specialty.
First Post
Something about dancing with my 6 month old daughter to Metallica and Suicidal Tendencies has made me decide to finally start this blog. I'm a 40 year old first time dad who is recently laid off and trying to become an IPhone app developer. It's been nothing like I would have expected, so I thought maybe other people would like to hear about it. Or maybe spending all this time with a baby and cats for company makes me feel overly self-important.
The title of the blog is from the one thing I don't do these days, which is breast feed. My wife is a busy professional, so I do just about everything else. And I'm loving it, but it definitely has its challenges. And that's what this blog is about. Assuming the title passes with Google's TOS. And that people don't come here expecting some kind of weird porn.
So join me while I crank up Pandora and check the baby's diaper. And if anything rings, step out of the way, I'll be running to answer it, empty it, or plug it in.
The title of the blog is from the one thing I don't do these days, which is breast feed. My wife is a busy professional, so I do just about everything else. And I'm loving it, but it definitely has its challenges. And that's what this blog is about. Assuming the title passes with Google's TOS. And that people don't come here expecting some kind of weird porn.
So join me while I crank up Pandora and check the baby's diaper. And if anything rings, step out of the way, I'll be running to answer it, empty it, or plug it in.
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